Connecting at The Speed of Trust
Dianne Legro, besides being a lifelong singer and vocal coach, is also an author, lecturer, and professional motivational presenter nationwide and in Europe.
Dianne also is the owner of Speaking Success International, a firm providing outstanding communication coaching and consulting to individuals, teams and corporations. To learn more about Dianne’s business go to:www.speakingsuccessinternational.com.
To learn more about Dianne’s music background go to: www.diannelegro.com.
Do you know what builds trust within the first crucial moments of meeting someone?
If you are marketing to other professionals, or mentoring or fostering conscious growth in any of its forms in the corporate arena, humanities, arts or sciences you know that there is nothing as fast or as transformative as trust, be it self trust, team trust, or universal trust. Things go smoothly, relationships deepen, and projects simplify and come easily into being when trust is strong.
The first few seconds of meeting between two people are driven by instinctive reactions. Each person makes unconscious, unthinking appraisals that have to do with assessing their own safety. “I do/don’t feel safe with you” and “I do/don’t trust you.” This animal instinct is our fight or flight response. We are super alert at a subconscious level until we assess how safe we are to reveal ourselves and how fast we can reveal ourselves.
Becoming aware of this fact is key to the progress of the relationship. Here are four things people register instantly that you can add to your awareness for more success when you are meeting new people.
1. Attitude- Your attitude is the first thing people pick up on. It is an option to consciously choose your attitude. Based on testing of this in my field we know the three best to choose are: enthusiastic, curious, and humility. The number one people factor most admired by others is health and vitality. Are you putting energy in the room? Are you encouraging growth and giving rather than taking?
2. Body Language- is 60% of what we communicate about ourselves. You want your body language to be open (high heart in open chest) facing your new meet. You want to mirror the person you are speaking with. Be subtle, but reciprocate in kind with similar gestures and vocal inflections. Why? (We) People trust others who seem to be like us.
3. Eye Contact- Look people in the eye and smile. In most cultures this is the fastest way to let people know you are happy to be with them. (When traveling, do research this-in SOME cultures (France for one) a smiling stranger can be interpreted as an approaching con.
4. Voice- Lower the pitch of your voice. It signifies your competence, self-esteem, confidence and authority. When we are stressed our voices get tight and small, or forced others interpret this as “overwhelmed” or “disconnected” from yourself. Unfortunately this creates skepticism about your effectiveness and sincerity.
These are four things that contribute to connecting instantly with high trust. By no means are they ALL the relevant factors, but they do help with initial trust building and rapport with audiences and individual interviews.